Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Life is out of control!

I decided I'll miss my class for the third day in a row. I'm lazy and not in a mood for studies. I took a pen and a paper to write something. Without an idea for a topic I'm just scribbling. Week didn't go well for mr. My sleeping patterns has changed drastically. I tend to sleep a lot, even during the day. As a result I'm sleepy the whole day.

My mind is off my studies. I hardly remember what is a regression or how to design an experiment. Even without prior notice, my enthusiasm for studies has left me for good. Now, here I am like a free bird who feels like I have nothing to do at all, but to sleep the whole day.

Spending my money like a queen, who has enough wealth to feed thousands, has become a habit. My credit card bills, telephone bills are sky high, even before the end of the month. I don't know what will I have at the end . I'll just cross my fingers hoping for the best.

Life is out of control! Somewhere something has gone wrong. The restrictions I had for myself has loosened. The self control I had for my self has vanished. Instead of thinking from the brain, I entertain my heart's desire.

Tomorrow is the deadline for the article, I still don't know what to write. I have ideas for two articles, but I'm not yet ready to start working on any of those. My weak heart has taken a decision to postponed those for the holiday. Heart came out with a reason too, to which brain could not say no. " During the holiday I'll have more time to work on those". Anyway, these days my brain has no say against the heart, who is in power.

Now, I sit and think what to write next,  but I still continue with it. I don't want to stop writing. Looks like I've gone mad, but I believe everyone is. Most of the time at  home, I'm locked in my room. I hardly have anyone to talk to.  I'm on my own. So, when I'm away from home, I laugh, I dance and enjoy with my friends, that's my nature anyway.
I have company now. So, I've stopped writing. I didn't want anyone to poke their head into my writing. So, I stopped writing.

"See ya. Bye" She walks out. Again I'm alone in the staff room writing the crazy confession of mine. Oh! That reminded me about the book about my grandparents I'm suppose to be writing. I forgot all about it. Last week I lied to miss, saying that I'm writing it regularly. I was used to write it everyday, until the day I got mad with my grandmother. I better start that again. I hope at least the financial benefit will motivate me for that.

Oops! I'm late for a class. got to go! bye bye!

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